I like many others have been struggling with emotions during this pandemic. Our lives have been disrupted in every way possible. We’re all having to figure out new ways of doing things for almost every aspect of our lives.

Early in our Stay at Home Order I read about the best ways to handle our now work from home situation. I kept my morning routine, still getting up at 5am, doing my daily meditation and yoga, took a shower and got dressed for work (granted my work attire now consisted of wearing leggings and cozy sweaters).

I kept this going because experts had said that was the best way to handle working from home when it is a temporary situation, making going back to the office a smoother transition. Our two weeks at home turned into two months and now our return is uncertain and will definitely be mostly work from home if/when going back to the office happens.

All of this uncertainty can be difficult to handle. I’ve always enjoyed change and learning new ways of doing things but this is different. I’ve been trying to stay busy since that is the only way the feelings of unease subside. I’m working on a photo project with my niece and I started learning watercolor painting with my husband. I’ve had zoom family game nights and zoom happy hours with friends. All of these things are amazing and they do help. For a little while I can ‘forget’ that for the first time in my lifetime, the entire world is in crisis at the same time. But this ‘forgetting’ is temporary and the feelings of unease always creep back.

So I decided I needed to take things up a notch. I started Yale’s online class, The Science of Wellbeing. Or as I call it, ‘My happiness class’). I’m not taking it because I’m necessarily learning things I haven’t learned elsewhere. There is a lot of information and great resources online (some of my favorites are Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah and the Happiness Lab podcasts), but actually taking the class helps to hold me accountable. It forces me to do things daily to work on my happiness and wellbeing.

I had some practice this morning. It’s a cold and rainy spring day and I was reevaluating my life – once again – trying to figure out what to do with work and dreaming of a life very different from what it is. Of course this isn’t the way to happiness and I know that, but it can be difficult to not get pulled under from time to time.

After giving in to the pain I climbed back into bed and felt sorry for myself. I shed a few tears and stayed there for a few minutes. Then thinking about what all of the experts I’ve been reading and listening to say to do in these times, I started listing things I am grateful for. Of course my children always come up first. My family and friends come up next. It really was only a few minutes before I felt better, happy actually, almost like magic. Mindfulness Magic.

It can be difficult in the midst of pain to think of anything to be grateful for. It doesn’t  have to be big things. It can be as simple as a hot shower or a sunny day, a smiling neighbor or the taste of a fresh strawberry.

Worrying about what ‘may’ happen in the future has never served me well. Yes, I’ve been through times that have been horrible and it’s felt like the world around me is crumbling. What got me through those times the most was to tell myself that right now I am ok. It may be minute by minute or even second by second, but keeping present and being thankful for what I do have has pulled me through every time.

My life is far from perfect as a whole and definitely not perfect by society’s standards, but there are plenty of perfect things and perfect moments within the whole. Those perfect moments are what will get me through this. My wish for you today is to find those perfect moments and relish in them.