I recently met up with a friend that I had not seen for almost two years – pre-pandemic. One of the first things she noticed was how much happier I was. Within literal seconds, with nothing more than a hug and “Hi! So good to see you!”, she could see it.

Because of covid and how our lives have been, we haven’t talked much in the last two years so she did not know the transformation I had gone through but she saw it reflected in me enough to comment on it.

This is not the first time I have heard this in the last month or so. Friends both old and new have noticed the difference. I knew that I felt different – better, happier, healthier – than I had in years. I did not know that anyone else could tell.

I suppose this transformation has been a work in progress over many years of searching, reading books, listening to podcasts, talking to people. But this last year is where all that studying finally came together and helped me to transform.

I didn’t learn anything new that finally made things click, but I believe it was the combination of three things that I finally understood that are responsible for my transformation. Gratitude, trust and truly wishing for the best life for everyone in my life. Not just the people I like or who are easy to get along with, EVERYONE.

Today I want to talk about gratitude.

Daily I go through a list of things and people I am grateful for. Gratitude for my family and friends. Gratitude for the sun, the rain, snow. Gratitude for life; the good, the bad, the difficult, the happy. Gratitude for all those experiences that made me who I am today.

Gratitude is something we often express when we’re happy and feel blessed. Being grateful for difficult or hurtful people and events and being grateful that they taught me a lesson is not easy. I honestly think that’s why it took me so long to get where I am today. I didn’t want to let go of those difficult times. I was hurt. I was angry.

But something interesting about going through this process is that I would say that I’m grateful for those people and experiences even though I didn’t feel grateful. I knew that I had to say it before I could feel it. I was actually quite surprised when I eventually realized that I truly did feel grateful. I released my anger and actually felt lighter.

I’ve also been practicing gratitude for things I would like in my life that I may not yet have. Being grateful for something as if I had already received it. It’s amazing how being grateful for something you don’t have can actually bring that thing into your life.

One way to do this is to take some time to really think about the life you want to live. Picture what you want your life to be like 2 or 3 years from now and write it down. This will get you thinking about the things already in your life that you love and would like to continue in the future; and the things you don’t have but really want to have.

It may be helpful to create categories and start from there. Some examples may be: Friendships, family, physical health, mental health, mind-body-spirit, finances, love, peace, experiences, career, life or work goals. Pick three categories that you most want to focus on right now. Sometimes it’s difficult to narrow it down. We get excited about the possibilities. But for now focus on those three categories until they are in a place you want them to be. You can always adjust later.

Now within those three categories write five or six specific things you’d like. An example of one I’m working on is finances and work. Being a freelancer I work on a project by project basis. I don’t always know what I’ll be doing two months from now. So something I say is “Thank you for giving me consistent work, that I love, that pays me well”. Health and exercise is another category for me so something in that category I say is “Thank you for giving me the time and energy to exercise and be healthy”.

It’s important to think of this in a positive way. For example, saying ‘Thank you for bringing into my life positive and healthy people I can talk to that I trust.’ Instead of saying ‘ I don’t want negative and toxic people in my life’. Don’t focus on the negative aspect, saying what you don’t want. Specifically say what you do want.

The interesting thing about gratitude is the more you are grateful for, the more you will receive to be grateful for. Start being grateful today. You will be amazed how quickly things in your life will change.